


Merlin the Idiot

by I_ran_out_of_books



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Merlin, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Merlin, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic Reveal, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-20 02:23:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17613656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_ran_out_of_books/pseuds/I_ran_out_of_books
Summary: Arthur holds Merlin tenderly and tries not to let fear show on his face. "You idiot," he whispers as he tries to still Merlin's shaking. He's trembling as if they were out in the snowy mountains wearing only tunics and thin trousers, but they're not. It is the middle of summer and they are in the lush green forest that surrounds Camelot. It could be a beautiful clearing really, if only it wasn't splattered with Merlin's blood.





	Merlin the Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this makes you sad.
> 
> If you wanna cry even more then take a look at the beautiful work of art RedRuse created for this fic, it's gonna blow your socks off: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18598720

Arthur holds Merlin tenderly and tries not to let fear show on his face. "You idiot," he whispers as he tries to still Merlin's shaking. He's trembling as if they were out in the snowy mountains wearing only tunics and thin trousers, but they're not. It is the middle of summer and they are in the lush green forest that surrounds Camelot. It could be a beautiful clearing really, if only it wasn't splattered with Merlin's blood. It had all happened so fast Arthur wasn't even sure of all the details.

Merlin and Arthur had been riding slowly after going out on a hunt because the prince thought it was high time he torture his servant with one. He got a few rabbits before calling it quits, he knew Merlin didn't like to watch any of the animals die, and Arthur had secretly only really wanted Merlin's sole company anyway. Then there was rustling in the trees and they did as they always did. They hopped off their horses with impressive stealth and arranged themselves in a way that Arthur was ready to pummel anyone who got within ten feet of Merlin and Merlin went to go hide behind a tree, probably. 

The men who came charging into the little clearing didn't look like much, low-level bandits, Arthur guessed and so he set to work dispatching them. As he fought with the first two he got the nagging feeling these men were not what they seemed, for they fought with gusto and a technique not learned from robbing strangers in the woods. This was an assassination then, but why were the men disguised? Arthur worked through all the possibilities as he finally finished off the first man with a clean slice of his sword across the mans jugular. The spray of blood that ensued provided him with a moment of distraction as the other men looked at their comrade die. Without missing a beat he was on to the second, clearly he had been friends with the first one if the fury in his eyes was anything to go by. Good. Arthur could use fury, he had never met a man who could keep good technique and fury at the same time, and as it turned out the man in front of him was not the exception. Extracting his sword from the mans stomach with a - _sching_ \- he swiveled around to the third who was ... gone? Arthur looked around only to see the man unconscious under a particularly hefty tree branch next to another man Arthur hadn't even seen. That takes care of all four of them, thought Arthur as he heard the crunch of Merlin's boots walking over to him. Merlin had a very distinctive walking pattern, it was strangely timed and every so often the pattern would break as he stumbled over air. Without turning he could see the goofy grin Merlin would be wearing, he never took things as seriously as he should. 

"That's that then," he called gaily from behind Arthur. He couldn't help the answering grin that came to him but he didn't turn around and let Merlin see it, instead he walked toward the man who was lying next to the broken tree branch. Something was off. "Those men couldn't have been bandits Merlin, they were all too good with a sword. If it hadn't been for these men luckily getting knocked unconscious ... I don't think I could've fought them all off at once. " Arthur admitted. He was the best knight in Camelot and his sword skills were unmatched, but none of those men had been particularly bad and when you have four against one Arthur should at least be severely wounded. Finally he swivels to Merlin to see a look of confusion that only morphs into one of terror. 

"What?" Arthur says hurrying toward Merlin. 

"It's Morgana," he says gravely. 

"How?"

"Those men would've finished you off if I- if the tree branch hadn't incapacitated two of them, and they found us in the middle of the woods as if they had a map leading them directly to you. Magic. But if it is her she would be smarter than to send just four skilled men." 

As if on cue there was shuffling and three more men appeared from the tree line, but these men looked very different. They moved with am almost unnatural swiftness as they stayed low to the ground. Their robes swirled around them in illusions of location. Merlin recognized them as Catha by the way they moved and the markings on their skin. Arthur was a great warrior and he had taken care of the men he could, with a little help from Merlin, but now he was defenseless and Merlin had no one to give him a secret hand from the tree line. Merlin was Emrys but he was young and had almost died enough times to not let stupid prophecy's about his power go to his head, compared to three catha assassins Merlin did not know how he would fare. They tunneled their magic into their movements and flowed like water around the duo keeping such constant motion they could not be pinned down. Burns started to sting Merlin and Arthur's skin and as they looked down they realized they already had multiple small slices left from whatever weapons the men were apparently holding. Arthur steeled himself and brought up his sword, they were unlike anyone he had faced before but he was a warrior and refused to be defeated without a battle. Merlin's hands shook as he knew what had to happen but then there was clanging and it seems Arthur was in fact helping Merlin because him and one of the catha men were engaged in a raging battle of strength and skill. Merlin could feel the mans magic wasn't that strong, but his skill was shocking and Arthur was struggling.

Merlin took a deep breath and let the magic in his core flow out to his limbs, maybe if he only let down the tight hold he always had on his magic he wouldn't have to do something blatantly obvious and hurt Arthur with the truth. It felt as if time stopped as his magic made its way into his very bloodstream and touched every corner of his body. The world was bright with colors he felt never existed and oxygen was crisp in his lungs. He moved without the clumsiness of restrained magic and a sense of peace overcame him, no matter what happened now he knew he could keep Arthur safe. Latching on to the Catha mans magic in front of him he tracked his movements easier and allowed himself to go on offense for once. The man in front of him seemed to sense the change and stared intently into Merlin's eyes as the warlock moved in tandem with him. Merlin's magic corralled the assassin's magic and slowed the man to level the playing field.

Merlin had never felt so focused. With smooth movements he moved in toward the man and grasped the overflowing sleeve of his robe. He saw now the small blades that hung in a circle around the hem of the sleeve and marveled at the Catha's ingenuity before twisting the sleeve and locking the mans arm behind his back. He fell to his knees but swiftly rolled bringing Merlin down with him. His body moved efficiently over Merlin until his thighs wrapped around his right arm and legs rested across his chest. He leaned back and arched his hips harshly pulling on Merlin's arms. Merlin could feel the pressure building in his elbow into an intense pain, he knew if he didn't move it would snap. A pained grunt escaped his lips as he attempted to get up but he was not moving one bit. "Merlin!" He heard Arthur scream from somewhere behind him, he let magic flow to his arm with a charge so strong it left the Catha breathless, his grip slipped and Merlin ripped his arm out of the grasp. It still screamed with pain and he thought surely a ligament tore but he didn't have time for roundabouts or thinking anymore, something was scaring Arthur and that was unacceptable. With a blast of power and light that left his palm he hit the man. He flew backward as if hit by a giant boulder and his bones crunching against the ground were all Merlin needed to hear before he turned to Arthur. 

The prince was tired and bloody but the man who he was fighting was too. The sight of the magical display shocked both of them into inaction but the catha recovered much quicker. With an aching heart Merlin blasted him as well narrowly missing Arthur himself. He ran to Arthur with as fast as he could after expending large amounts of magic and revealing his biggest secret. He arrived short of breath and singularly focused on the look of pain and confusion passing over Arthur's face.

"Merlin, wha- what was that?" he asked sounding lost, which was so much worse than angry. Merlin risked reaching out and holding Arthur by the shoulders. He made sure to give him as much space as he could and held him an arms length away as if to say _don't be afraid, I am completely visible to you, I could never harm you._ Merlin's heart skipped a beat when Arthur didn't flinch away but instead leaned in to the touch. "Merlin, tell me what that was," he whispered in the space between them like he was afraid to break whatever it was that was happening.

Merlin opened his mouth to explain it all to Arthur, to get everything off his chest and beg for forgiveness. He could survive all kinds of battles and creatures but he did not think he could survive another second looking at the utter pain in Arthur's eyes. Except instead of an explanation all the came was a soft gasp. His gaze dropped down to his stomach where silver gleamed beautifully in the sun. From his angle it was almost hard to spot the blade; the thin slice of silver protruded from his gut. **Tuh Tump, Tuh Tump, Tuh Tump,** his heart beat boomed in his chest and blood roared in his ears. The rush of blood began to soak his tunic and when he looked up he could see Arthur screaming something but all he could hear was a high pitched ringing. The silver blade twisted in his back cutting more into his intestines and finally was wrenched out. _The third catha_ he thought to himself with almost amusement growing in his chest. He didn't hear or see the catha die, but he felt his magic curl around the mans neck and snap it fiercely with an anger he himself didn't feel. Arthur was safe. 

With that thought his adrenaline and shock slipped away. The pain began to grow and intensify as if someone had lit a fire inside his intestines. It seared him and as the ringing dissipated from his ears he understood those distant whimpers and sobs were coming from him. He did not know when he had fallen to the ground but he was half kneeling and half in Arthur's arms. The pain ebbed and flowed as he fell more and more into Arthur. At least Arthur didn't hate him, that was more than Merlin had dared let himself hope for. Arthur's hands were grasping at his face, his palms sweaty on Merlin's own clammy skin. He moved to lie Merlin down and try to cover the wound with his hands. They both knew it was too big; bleeding too much and too fast. It was sticky and hot as it flowed underneath him in a shiny pool of red. Tears sprang to Arthur's eyes and blurred his vision as he tried to put pressure on the wound anyway. The blood flowed over his fingers, the deep red color staining his pale skin. Merlin's blood. Merlin began to shake terribly and whimper softly, his own hand came to sit on top of Arthur's and the dam broke. A choking sound escaped Arthur's chest and he couldn't bear to look at his friends face, Merlin's face. 

"-rthur" he gasped out urging his eyes to meet Merlin's, "It's alright." And Arthur knows he's forgiving him for something he will never forgive himself for. They have too much to do and say still, Merlin can't die yet! He just can't! So that's exactly what Arthur tells him. He just smiles softly and sadly knowing at least one of the things they need to speak about is his magic. "Promise I'm not evil," he says as his head lulls against Arthur's chest, "I only ever used it for you. Only you, Arthur." It's meant to be a reassurance but Arthur doesn't think anything has ever hurt so much.

He gives in then; Merlin won't survive this and Arthur will not let Merlin's last moments be filled with doubt or guilt. "You idiot," he says and cradles his love closer, "I know you're not evil." 

"Prat. I save your life and you call me an idiot." Merlin's body is no longer trembling and his voice is clearer but tired; Arthur knows that's not a good sign, he's seen it too many times before. 

"I am a prat. A royal one, and that's why I'm commanding you to stay alive," he says forcing lightness into his voice, the huff of laughter it earns him breaks him all the more. Merlin grimaces after the laugh as if he had forgotten he was mortally wounded and it would hurt. 

"You never did understand you couldn't have everything you wanted just because you're the prince," Merlin teases as he looks up at Arthur from his arms. 

Arthur swallows and lets himself smile at Merlin like he always wished he could. He smiles and love and adoration are written in every corner of his face, "I know exactly what it's like not being able to have the things I want ... the people I want. Person I want." His thumb brushes a tear off of Merlin's cheek and does not stop roaming his cheekbones even after he's done. Red smears his pale cheeks now.

"You ass, I waited for you all these years," Merlin pants out, "and you wait until I'm dying to tell me." 

A bark of laughter leaves Arthur's chest, "I know I'm an ass. And I know you don't follow orders you useless servant, but could you follow this one Merlin? For me?" Arthur chokes on the last words as his voice finally breaks and he hangs his head down to touch Merlin's forehead. He feel's Merlin's bloody hands raise to touch Arthur's cheeks and hair, caressing and comforting as if Arthur were the one dying. 

"I love you, Arthur," He rasps out filled with pain and Arthur can tell it's far deeper than the physical one he's in right now, "I'd do anything for you." And then his hands fall. They just lie there on top of his own chest. Arthur clutches Merlin closer, and if Merlin were alive he would've cried out in pain, but he doesn't. A shuddering cry passes Arthur's lips and suddenly a tsunami of tears overtakes his vision. He buries his face in Merlin's hair. It's soft, so so soft. The pool of blood was now soaking into the knees of Arthur's trousers and he rocked back and forth as he sobbed like a child. There was none of the stoicism that he held firmly in place when his knights die, only ugly sobs exploding from his chest and tear streaks forming in Merlin's dried blood on his face. 

"Merlin! Merlin, _please_!" he half cried half begged. A litany of _Merlin_ spilled from Arthur's lips like a prayer. He can't see or hear anything anymore; grief blinding him to the world around him. "I love you too, Merlin. I love you so much. Only you. Please, please, please come back to me darling," he gasps out as his hands desperately clutch at Merlin's clothes. Merlin is dead but he doesn't feel like it. His skin is not cold and its pale color remains unlike so many bodies Arthur had seen. Merlin is warm and soft in Arthur's arms, exactly the way Arthur never got to feel before this very instant. This is not how Arthur had dreamed of holding Merlin.

The only thing that gave it away was the terrible limpness that dragged Merlin's body down to earth. His head lulled back and forth as Arthur rocked with him and his arms lay uselessly at his sides. This was nothing but a shell of what his love was. His beloved Merlin. Suddenly a great flush of anger filled his chest and he screamed, "No! No this can't happen! Merlin wake up! WAKE UP! YOU DON'T GET TO DIE FOR ME! YOU CAN'T DIE AND LEAVE ME HERE WITHOUT YOU!" He's shaking Merlin's shoulders now, willing him to open his stupid blue eyes and make a joke like he always did. There was only silence. Arthur dropped Merlin from his arms and scrambled back across the grass and dirt. He couldn't understand what was happening, because Merlin never got hurt. He wasn't supposed to get hurt, he was _Merlin_. Another great wave of sobs overcame his frame and he brought his knees to he chest, burying his face in his knees and hugging his legs. He remembers telling Merlin no man was worth his tears, what a sick and stupid thing to say. 

Across from him the blood on Merlin's body had stopped flowing and was drying on his skin and clothes. Golden light moved inside of him touching his intestines and causing them to mend together like they had always been. Gold touched his skin and the gaping hole of split and curled skin began to heal. The skin unfurled and the muscles underneath knit together. The gold kissed the joints in Merlin's elbow and the swelling and tears soothed. The light roamed within his chest and touched his heart like a gentle wind touches flower petals and causes them to stir. **Tuh Tump, Tuh Tump, Tuh Tump**. Gold curled around his lungs and willed them to contract and expand with oxygen. A great gasp rattled through Merlin's chest and the warlock's eyes shot open gleaming like the sun itself. His body felt shaky and sore, the clammy sweating that broke throughout his body due more to the shock of being awake than being unwell. Merlin remembered everything that happened, and that's why he knew he shouldn't be awake right now. He moved his hands to touch his belly. It was sticky with oxidizing blood but there was no wound there to pain him. That's when he heard the wracking sobs coming from his right. It was Arthur. Arthur! Before he could give it a second thought he was sitting up and flinging himself toward the prince. 

They hit the ground hard and Arthur's sobs were cut off by panic before he realized who it was. It was Merlin. Merlin with his stupid smile so big he looked crazy and his eyes a brilliant gold. "Merlin!" Arthur cried out before wrapping his arms around his neck and bringing him down for a suffocating hug. The laugh that Merlin let out sounded like the most beautiful song Arthur had ever heard. Merlin held him just as tight and sniffled quietly into his shoulder. "I love you, I love you, I love you," Arthur serenaded Merlin with the words. He was crying hard again and the words were muddled and he had snot and he couldn't care less. Finally Merlin pulled back and Arthur let him but didn't let go of his hands. Arthur looked over Merlin's body and although it was tough to see through the bloodstains he could tell there was no wound where there should be one. This sent a chill up his spine, but he was pleased that Merlin was okay and the particular implications of the fact it happened weren't something he was going to dwell on at the moment. 

Then Merlin kissed him, and Arthur couldn't make a single coherent thought. The kiss was desperate and deep and the taste of iron in Merlin's mouth made him shudder and hold him closer. Merlin had died. Arthur would never let that happen again even if it cost him his own life. They stayed in a tight embrace long after they had finished kissing. It wasn't until the sun began to dip below the horizon that they parted from their little patch of dirt and grass and blood. The scene around them was truly gruesome. Five bodies lay strewn in the clearing, the two men next to the branch had slipped away at one point. A dark patch of dirt indicated where Merlin had died. The dirt was slick with blood as the earth drank it like water. Arthur couldn't look at it anymore. In silence he stood, pulling Merlin by the hand and willing him to get up. With an exhaustion deep in their bones they climbed onto one of the horses that hadn't spooked away, it belonged to one of Morgana's men. Arthur sat in the front and held the reins as the horse took off. A steady trot was all they could manage in their state and Merlin's arms around his torso made his throat go tight.

"Gods, Merlin. You're alive," Arthur whispered like it was a secret the fates couldn't know. 

"I told you, Arthur. I would do anything for you." Merlin pressed a reverent kiss upon Arthur's nape. He lay his cheek against Arthur's back and held him close. 

"Never do that again, please," Arthur begged. 

"Never again. I promise." 

"Stay with me forever," Arthur breathed. 

Merlin didn't know what forever meant, for him it seemed it could be a reality but whatever forever was for Arthur Merlin knew he would be there. "Of course, my king." 

"I'm the prince." 

"You're my king," Merlin said with an affectionate squeeze. The words were much more than just praise and Arthur knew it. They had so much to talk about once they got back to Camelot.

"When we get back we are having a long long talk," Arthur warned, "but first you are going to Gaius and getting every inch of you checked out. You have the next week off and if I see you so much as lifting a finger I'll kill you myself." 

"You can't scare me anymore Arthur," Merlin teased, "you looove me." 

Arthur couldn't help the laughed that bubbled up in his chest and this time he didn't try to hide it at all. They laughed and laughed in relief until they sounded a bit deranged. They must've been quite a sight crowded on one horse and cackling while covered in blood, but they couldn't care less. 

"Yes I do," Arthur agreed, "Idiot." 

"Prat." 

"Dollophead." 

"That's my word!" Merlin whined and Arthur just snickered. 

Just like that the once and future king and the most powerful sorcerer made their way through the lush forest surrounding Camelot. Their bickering a more beautiful sound than the songs all the birds sang to them as they passed rejoicing that magic lived on. They were still far from home but they were on the right path in more than one sense as they rode toward Camelot. She belonged to them in every way and someday in the future they would rule over her together. They would unite the land with magic and fierce protection. All of Albion would be united under their tender care and would flourish. Equally as important Merlin and Arthur would flourish just as well and become hero's not only to the people but to each other. Forever does come and Merlin is there for all of it holding Arthur's hand and keeping his promise. Merlin stays with Arthur forever.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is ambiguous if I do say so myself, what do you think "forever" means?


End file.
